…|+| The Ache of My Heart |+|…
After a few months of busyness, I’ve finally got some free time back as holiday is around the corner. Finals had been over about a week & 6th Form Graduation Night is over. Even though my results aren’t good, but it seems to have a bit improvements compare to the previous one. I’m not sure how I can survive next year, also afraid to imagine how it’ll be either, as what I can see is - it’ll be another ‘dead’ year.
I’ve been studying in F6 for about half a year already, yet that heart which once wanted to study is still missing, probably is gone forever. I can’t even remember when I’ve lost it, where, why or how. The only pillar which I’m clingin’ onto right now is only them. That’s the only hope for me but the power is so weak & unstable, it may fall apart anytime. Yeah, I remember some net friends did give advices, “Clinging onto it is really dangerous, and it’s a risk” But that’s the only choice I have…. Or rather that’s the only road I can take. All other paths already had been destroyed by my own hands. Never mind, I’ll be fine…. I hope…
Today it should be a happy & important day; it is my beloved shinigami’s birthday, Hisoka-kun. It’s his 25 years old b’day but he’ll always stay as a 16 year old kakkoi teenager~ ^^ A cool & cold attitude, a bit arrogant yet very cute ‘kid’ (as others called him) but deep in his heart, he does caring for others, protecting the one he loves with all his strength. Even though that cold attitude shielding his inner self but he’s still a boy who needs others love & care too…. ‘Soka-chan, eien ni kimi o mamoru… [+]
We (L6B4) got more feedbacks of our performance & our director gave a touchy speech too~ XD In my honest opinion, I really don’t agree much about the judges decisions, especially the Best Costume award. It’s really unfair & probably because the rule didn’t mention well too. Our hard works, sweat & tears in making the clothes & accessories for the actors/actresses – pirates, customers, waitress & cashier should be at least are appreciated. It’s our own original design & handmade. However, the judges’ choice was on the most expensive costumes. Anyway, we can’t blame much as the rules didn’t state well in the first place. However, if CF’s judging is similar as F6 night, I rather not watch. Awarding to those who pay the most than those who work the most, how illogic, unfair… well in this world, things are unfair. You had to bear with it and live on. “The strong will survive, the weak will perish,” what’s your opinion? I didn’t want to agree but that’s life, that’s the truth.
More ever, we got to see some photos of F6 Dinner Night today. From those pictures, I just knew that I’ve made more mistakes - too much of make-up! >_< I really hate that picture of me, looking worst that a doll or ghost. I really regret of putting up make-ups. Well, this definitely will be the final time; I’ll put on a very light make-up in the future only when it’s necessary. However by this, I can use it as a comfort to myself for missing our ‘family’ picture because I’ll spoil that picture with that terrible look. I was really angry, regret & greatly depressed because of that single photo on that night. But I can only blame myself; just take this as a lesson. Some photos are really nicely taken, examples photos with the kawaii chicken/duck of our class teacher’s daughter. I’ve order some photos as a remembrance even I’m not in it but because of that soooo cute plushie! Aww.. I believe many of us will miss it. We’re really grateful for the kind little girl who lends her plushie to us. We had a great & wonderful time being with it. Yeah, maybe I’ll make a small dedication for it… ^^v Lastly, even though we didn’t win anything during that dinner night, but I really had a great time with everyone (classmate). The process of preparing for the show, the time we shared together, that the most important thing & the most priceless gift we had gained. Anyway, I’ll do some more lil-presents using those photos, nothing much special but I just had that kind of feeling I wanted to do something for our class. Phew, many works need to be done~ but first it will be for my lovely bishounen. Very sorry for the delayed presents…. x_x I’ll get the work done asap!
“The Ache of My Heart” from the Solo Album “Eyes” of Fuji Syuusuke // Tenipuri.
